Round the world joke

May 5, 2011 If you didn’t have, say, a sense of smell, and 3,000 people all informed you Casablanca Lilies were pleasantly fragrant — you’d rely on that information and assume they were right. Now if you didn’t have, say, a sense of humor, and 3,000 people around you all guffawed uncontrollably at jokes about you —best you’d rely on that information and at least smile. This would cloak your defective funny bone and lack of self-irony. You’d appear affable instead of culturally tone deaf.

‘River Rat’ info was correct

May 5, 2011 Charles McKenzie’s information that resulted in my column last week about the upcoming blowing of the Birds Point Levee to ease flooding on the Mississippi River at Cairo (pronounced Kay-roh), Ill., was right on target.McKenzie, of Evening Shade, worked for 17 years for the Ingram Barge Co., where he was a riverboat chief engineer. He certainly proved his sources among the “River Rats” on the Mississippi and Ohio rivers know what they are talking about.McKenzie now owns McKenzie Monument Co. (formerly Stone Monuments) near Pfeiffer.

Photos paid for

May 5, 2011 Osama bin Laden is dead. Of that, I have no doubt. To question this statement one would have to question the skill and bravery of the Navy SEALS and believe that the master terrorist who occasionally appears in propaganda videos and audio recordings is capable of perpetually eluding all human and technological intelligence.

Visitors welcome

May 4, 2011 Dear editor:Sunday, May 8, 2011, is a very special day. Not only is it Mother’s Day, but it also is the first day of National Nursing Home Week. This year’s National Nursing Home Week theme — “Fulfilling the Promise” — like the uniquely American phrase “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness” — is all about living life to its fullest potential.

Senator missing?

May 4, 2011 Dear editor:Where is our Senator?Mr. Boozman:The office doesn’t bring character and honor to the man, but the man brings character and honor to the office.You are a voice for the people. We have not heard your voice since the election.The economy is so bad that a lot of people have no jobs and are losing their homes. Yet, no voice from you. Gas prices are so high that people are deprived of essential and necessary things they need to survive; yet no voice from you.

Five lessons learned

May 4, 2011 Just as most of us will never forget where we were on Sept. 11, 2001, most of us will never forget where we were on May 1, 2011, the evening that the world was told that Osama bin Laden, the man responsible for causing so much unforgettable pain on 9/11, was dead.For many Americans the announcement brought some element of closure. For others it brought back the pain of that day. Nearly 10 years later we are a nation still living under the ghost known as grief.

American spirit now from abroad

May 4, 2011 I know a fellow from Lebanon who is more American than most Americans.In 1977, when I was 14, I rode my bike, played ball with my friends and enjoyed a safe and happy American existence.During that same year at the same age, the Lebanese fellow I now know was dragging dead bodies into the street and setting them on fire.As civil war raged in his country — as Beirut was bombed every night —many dead bodies lay in the streets. The stench was so great, he and his neighbors dragged the bodies into a pile and burned them.

Filtering mistake

May 3, 2011 My phone rang, and I recognized the voice on the other end as that of The Dean over Student Standards. His voice was terse, and I could tell he was not happy. “What the devil is going on over there?!”Back then I taught math at a small religious college, and in the evening I worked part time as a programmer for a government contractor. My programming assignment was to develop software that would later become part of the yet unknown phenomenon, the Internet.

Day of reckoning arrives

May 3, 2011 They got him. Put a couple of slugs in his face. Then they dumped his body in the sea — something for the fish, which don’t much care what they eat, to feed on.No matter how you look at it, this was a masterful stroke by a group of Navy Seals who went about their business with great skill and steely nerves. Naturally, great credit went to the president who stuck with an operation that was set in motion by his predecessor, George W. Bush.

National show of support

May 3, 2011 I don’t know if I have anything more to add to the news, other than what we’ve all heard and read already. I have a bit of a morbid streak and would have liked to seen the body. Maybe it’s all the “CSI” and “Criminal Minds” shows I watch — they have no problem showing the most gruesome depictions they can dream up, not to mention all the horror shows. So yes, I will admit to being somewhat desensitized in addition to being a bit ghoulish. But it’s not like I want to see every dead body out there. Just bin Laden’s.